Fast Forward

Instead of starting a paper that is for my major I thought I'd procrastinate a little more and write an update. I have a problem with procrastination. Always have. I remember even in the first grade I would do my book reports the night before they were due. Maybe I have ADD. Then again I think everyone does. This society has made us that way. I won't get into that now.

You know when people talk in retrospect of their lives and refer to something as their "dark period"? Well I never fully understood that concept. I just assumed that it referred to a rough patch in one's life. However, from what I'm experiencing now it's more than a rough patch.

Lately, life has felt like one big pile of (excuse my french) shit. Everything has seemed to be coming at me lately from every direction possible. I won't get into the details because I'm not the only with problems. I don't want to complain either because complaining is annoying.

All I want to do is scream. Just scream at the top of my lungs. But, I'm too scared. Fear is a problem too.

I go through my days just looking for a glimmer of happiness. Don't get me wrong I do see that glimmer however things have definitely changed. I find myself wondering why everything is being thrown at me at once. I just look up at the ceiling and say to myself "why now? why me?"

I honestly think God laughs at me. I worry too much and I know that but I can't help it, I'm Italian. I guess all this stuff wouldn't be happening if the big guy thought I couldn't handle it. I can. It's frustrating is all I'm getting at.

I wish life came with a fast-forward button. It would be nice to skip some parts once in a while.

I guess you could call this my "dark period". It's not so dark because I know I have family and friends that love and support me, which is comforting. But, I doesn't mean I'm welcoming anymore negative crap to happen. There's always a light, right?

Hope things are better for you, kids.

Looking at the glass half full,

Catherine