Fast Forward

Instead of starting a paper that is for my major I thought I'd procrastinate a little more and write an update. I have a problem with procrastination. Always have. I remember even in the first grade I would do my book reports the night before they were due. Maybe I have ADD. Then again I think everyone does. This society has made us that way. I won't get into that now.

You know when people talk in retrospect of their lives and refer to something as their "dark period"? Well I never fully understood that concept. I just assumed that it referred to a rough patch in one's life. However, from what I'm experiencing now it's more than a rough patch.

Lately, life has felt like one big pile of (excuse my french) shit. Everything has seemed to be coming at me lately from every direction possible. I won't get into the details because I'm not the only with problems. I don't want to complain either because complaining is annoying.

All I want to do is scream. Just scream at the top of my lungs. But, I'm too scared. Fear is a problem too.

I go through my days just looking for a glimmer of happiness. Don't get me wrong I do see that glimmer however things have definitely changed. I find myself wondering why everything is being thrown at me at once. I just look up at the ceiling and say to myself "why now? why me?"

I honestly think God laughs at me. I worry too much and I know that but I can't help it, I'm Italian. I guess all this stuff wouldn't be happening if the big guy thought I couldn't handle it. I can. It's frustrating is all I'm getting at.

I wish life came with a fast-forward button. It would be nice to skip some parts once in a while.

I guess you could call this my "dark period". It's not so dark because I know I have family and friends that love and support me, which is comforting. But, I doesn't mean I'm welcoming anymore negative crap to happen. There's always a light, right?

Hope things are better for you, kids.

Looking at the glass half full,

Catherine

Lessons Learned

On a recent trip home I was saying my goodbye's to my grandparents. As I was about to leave, my grandmother pulled me aside and said, "trust-a no one." I laughed it off and made my trip back to school not even giving it a second thought.

Now I'm starting to think my grandmother has some sort of supernatural abilities. I now find myself saying, "I can't trust anyone."

Apparently I am not allowed to confide in people I thought were my friends. Firstly, what I have said to a person somehow was divulged to people that have no business of knowing what was said. Secondly, everything that has come back to me have been complete lies. Basically, what I originally said was never passed on to said outside parties. They're all complete fabrications.

I went to a private all girls school and safely avoided all of the he said, she said drama. I come to college and am suddenly in the midst of high school drama. This is ridiculous.

People aren't always who they say they are, and, unfortunately I'm learning that the hard way. When someone breaks your trust it is a very scary situation. I'm not really sure how to deal with this one.

How are you supposed to really know that you can trust another person? Is it even possible to fully trust someone?

I've already lost enough sleep over this and it's time to move on. I'm on the market for new, loyal friends. Any takers?

Well, you kids try to stay out of the kind of trouble I'm in. Hopefully you have good friends to support you.

Till next time.

-Catherine

P.S. Next time I read any celebrity gossip, I will give them the full benefit of the doubt. I promise.

There's Always Hope

I know I've been extremely inconsistent with my posts but maybe that will all change. Starting today.

In the past couple of weeks there have been tragic stories of teenagers committing suicide due to bullying. I am truly sad and heartbroken over these events and I hope and pray their families and loved ones heal and emerge as strong people.

What really disturbs me is that bullying continues to be a major problem. We all need to respect one another no matter skin color, appearance, sexuality, status, etc. We were all born into a world that already has a lot of problems. It's our job to love one another to make everyone's lives a little easier.

We are all the same no matter how you want to splice it. We all desire the same things, we all seek to find a good place in life, and we all want to find love. It doesn't matter who you love. It doesn't matter what you love. Love is universal, not reserved for only certain people. It's within everyone and everything. I believe in every major religious doctrine love is described as the ultimate gift that rules all. Why can't people remind themselves of this?

Religion aside, we were made by one universal Creator and I know that our Creator loves each and everyone of us. Our Creator wouldn't want us to use our words to hurt someone. Words are very powerful things and when used with malice they can destroy a soul. Our Creator I'm sure weeps when we use our words with ill intent.

Don't let people kick you. You need to fight for what you believe in. Show the ignorant the light. Teach them that we are all the same people and we are all here to live, love, be happy and lead a long, fulfilled life.

As adults we need to set positive examples for our children. We can't fail the future. We need to ensure that our children are safe, loved, and protected. Especially in the advanced society we live in. Let's learn from our mistakes and let everyone know that it is okay to be the unique, beautiful people they are.

There is always hope. Let's start now.

Take care kids, and know that I love you all no matter what.

- Catherine